an afternoon diversion of dorothy parker love

• You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
  • Parker’s answer when asked to use the word horticulture during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-A-Sentence?

• They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
  • “Fair Weather” in Sunset Gun (1928)

• You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
  • As quoted in The Algonquin Wits (1968)

• I’ve been too fucking busy – or vice versa.
  • On her honeymoon, in response to a telegram from her editor asking about some promised stories.

• This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

• Tallulah Bankhead: “Why, it’s as easy as ducking for apples.”
  Dorothy Parker: “Hah, change one letter in that sentence and you’ve got the story of my life.”